You're never too old to pick up your dancing shoes...

I've been contemplating taking dance classes again. I'm auditioning for Kelly's dance company next Thursday. I'm also interested in taking tap classes and pilates.

Once I incorporate Joshi's Diet and running and strength training, I'll be a lean, mean dancing queen machine :)

I'm super excited to dance again. I love love love my bellydance, but I'm stoked to do jazz, tap and modern too. Adding pilates will be the icing on the cake :)

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healthy healing

my surgery went well. now the healing begins. i want to get off the pain meds asap. i woke up early today to have a shower and feel like a proper person again. i want to relax and enjoy my super-long weekend. i want to go to the gym and work out and blast fat and get tight :) i'm sick of being rolly and round. i want to eat right and fill my body with goodness.

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Life-Change

So. I'm going for my surgery today @ 4pm. I'm a bit nervous. I had a rough night. I felt nauseated and had trouble sleeping.

I feel strongly that NOW is the time to change my routine.

Monday -Run - 90 mins, BodyFlow

Tuesday - Run - 90 mins

Wednesday - Run - 45 mins, BellyDance - 60 mins

Thursday -Run - 45 mins, Pilates/Dance - 60 mins

Friday - Run - 60 mins,

Saturday -Run - 90 mins

Sunday - Walk - 60 mins, BellyDance - 60 mins

I do not want to live like this anymore. I want to change. I'm excited. I'm thinking of doing WW again too. Maybe this time will stick.

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Regeneration

i feel out of sorts and off. i feel scared and stressed and unbalanced. i feel sick and mucky. my brain is fuzzy from my pain medication. i haven't had a proper meal. i've just been over-eating junk food and crap. i feel fat and sick and guilty. i want to live cleaner and eat better and feel healthier. this life is a LIE and i'm on the road to future illness. serious illness. i'm setting myself up for dis-ease and i can prevent it now. it's all mental management. i can achieve whatever i want!!!

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Reason...

After a long day filled with a comedy of errors, the cause of my pain was diagnosed. I need an emergency root canal! Eeek! I'm having the procedure done on Thursday and taking Friday off, so I'll have the long weekend to recover. I'm seriously happy that it's a physical problem and not a psychological problem [ie. stress related].

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pain pain go away

Last Friday my jaw started to hurt. I noticed that I had been clenching my jaw for a long period of time and immediately tried to relax my jaw. Ever since then my jaw has been constantly aching, and it makes it hard for me to do anything. I don't want to focus on the pain because I don't want it to get worse. But it hurts!!! Last night Adair got me some harder meds from SB so I could at least sleep. They make me too tired to take them in the day, so I'll just have to deal with it. I should really see a dentist too. Like I should see a doctor for my bald spot. It's like my body is rejecting my career. I wish for myself peace, comfort and less stress...

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The Changing Face of Saturdays

It's almost 4pm on Saturday afternoon. Ususally I spend Saturdays shopping in fancy stores for things I covet [not need], but lately my financial situation has been depressing and I've been sleeping in late and spending my Saturdays at home. I'm also trying to save $ for Morocco.

I'm a bit shocked about the # on my scale. I tried to eat right [well okay] all week and I ran and went to the gym. I hate that stupid scale. The thing is that I feel better and I look better, but my scale says I've gained more than 5 lbs!!! It's freakin' ridiculous. I'm so sick of being down on myself. I'm cute and fierce and curvy and sassy.

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Fortes Fortuna Juvat

Fortune Favours the Brave

I wish I could muster the courage - the real courage - to change my life to that of my dreams...

"All my life I've wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should've been more specific." - Janet Wagner, Playwright

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Being a Life Artist

Being at crown school this week has been very educational. I've realized that my strengths lie somewhere else - like a being a life artist...a scrapbook designer. I really want to focus on my exit strategy. How can I do this? Right now - I'm enjoying my job, my colleagues, my office. Part of being a life artist means the following:

• Be creative everyday
• Go with the flow
• Celebrate & Document the everyday
• Cherish the little stuff
• Find your voice
• Keep it simple
• Know it's going to be ok
• Enjoy the process

"Life art is about living with intention - with our eyes open to all the crazy, cool, interesting things happening in our world."

"We are shaped and fashionable by what we love." - Goethe

I want to talk to A to discuss this seriously. How can it work? We'd have to live a lot smaller in the beginning - and I definitely like to "live large."

Another thing...I'm kind of sad that I have PMS symptoms. It means that I'm not pregnant. I wish I were pregnant. That would make my transition to my dream career easier, that's for sure. It makes me a little sad. I know that it's just not the right time now. I know that God will give us a baby when the time is right. I just have to be hopeful & patient.

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It Gurrrl!

Okay - I didn't run this morning. I slept in, then it's too hot. I probably should've went anyway - I'd sweat more calories. But I can't undo what's done.

Watching TV makes me want to snack...

Today I want to buy some summer casual clothes. Everything should be on sale this time of year. We really don't have the $ for a spree, so if I buy anything I have to spend wisely. I need some camis in different colours. Most of my camis are size small [I'm not a size small right now...]. I need black, brown, purple, pink, nude, and white camis. Adair is in desperate need of some clothes too. In reality, we both just need to lose 20 lbs.

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More, more...

More! I've been studying with Johorah for months now and I really want to emulate her style. She's effortlessly flawless and classically chic. Her hair is always so gorgeous - so long, luscious. Her nails are always done. She is beautifully bronzed and perfectly toned. I want to be like that. I can do things now that will help me achieve this look.

• I can ensure my nails are always done. It's a small thing, but it makes a huge difference
• I can go tanning
• I can make sure my hair is done. I can wait for extensions
• I can make an effort to look "done" everyday!
  

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hmmmm...

I'm really liking purple lately - in all its' gloriorious shades. So I'm blogging in a striking violet colour today...

So yes - hmmmmm.... I don't want to describe myself or my life as "icky" and sad, so I'll just say, hmmmmm... I feel like I'm drowning [in debt, in fat, in depression, in lethargy, in dullness in...all aspects]. I know that I can save myself. I know I can attract the way. I want so much more. I'm intensely optimistic that I'm on the verge of my dream life. I want to receive my perfect weight of 127 lbs. I want to be a successful entrepreneur and make a good living as a scrapbook artist.

I want to run and dance and shimmy and sing and create art and sleep well and pray longer and study my scriptures more diligently and love my current job and be more articulate and be healthy and be happy and more loving and receive more love....

Is that too much to wish for?

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