
Don't get me wrong.  This isn't a complaining rant.  This isn't  a "woe is me" post.  This is just a brief rambling on my experience of pregnancy.
I feel like my life is not my own.  I want to run another marathon. I want to train.  I want to drink Diet Dr. Pepper.  I want to feel AWAKE.  I want to feel alive.  I want to feel lighter.  I want to feel better.  I want to feel like myself.  Again.  I know that this is going to be worth it. 
I'm super excited about my baby!  I saw my doctor again today.  I had a minor freak-out because my friend who was due the week after me lost her baby yesterday.  I was supposed to schedule an appointment for last week, but I went out of town for a couple of weeks, then just put it off.  But when I heard my friend's news, combined with my own worries that I've not "popped" yet and I've been having weird sensations in my belly, I scheduled an emergency appointment with the doctor today.  He was very kind.  I heard the baby's heartbeat again, and the doctor assured me that all is well with my normal, boring pregnancy.
The time will soon come when I can train for another marathon - maybe New York 2009 or Miami 2010?  Drinking Diet Dr. Pepper isn't all it's cracked up to be, compared to giving birth.  I imagine that giving birth will definitely make me feel ALIVE - what could be more dramatic in the human experience?  And I know I will definitely feel lighter after delivering my baby.  Yeah, this pregnancy is definitely worth it.  What I may now feel like I'm giving up, is nothing compared to the blessing that will soon be a new part of my world.  This is so me.
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