Confessions of a Pregnant Lady

Don't get me wrong. This isn't a complaining rant. This isn't a "woe is me" post. This is just a brief rambling on my experience of pregnancy.

I feel like my life is not my own. I want to run another marathon. I want to train. I want to drink Diet Dr. Pepper. I want to feel AWAKE. I want to feel alive. I want to feel lighter. I want to feel better. I want to feel like myself. Again. I know that this is going to be worth it.

I'm super excited about my baby! I saw my doctor again today. I had a minor freak-out because my friend who was due the week after me lost her baby yesterday. I was supposed to schedule an appointment for last week, but I went out of town for a couple of weeks, then just put it off. But when I heard my friend's news, combined with my own worries that I've not "popped" yet and I've been having weird sensations in my belly, I scheduled an emergency appointment with the doctor today. He was very kind. I heard the baby's heartbeat again, and the doctor assured me that all is well with my normal, boring pregnancy.

The time will soon come when I can train for another marathon - maybe New York 2009 or Miami 2010? Drinking Diet Dr. Pepper isn't all it's cracked up to be, compared to giving birth. I imagine that giving birth will definitely make me feel ALIVE - what could be more dramatic in the human experience? And I know I will definitely feel lighter after delivering my baby. Yeah, this pregnancy is definitely worth it. What I may now feel like I'm giving up, is nothing compared to the blessing that will soon be a new part of my world. This is so me.