blah-ish

I've been feeling an inarticuable sadness for the last 2 days. I feel so frustrated with myself. I am making these horrible choices that don't support the woman I am. I stayed on the couch in my pj's today until 5pm! I just lazed around and ate all day. That is not the person I want to be. I just feel so trapped and strapped. There is so much goodness and abundance in my life to be grateful for, but I just don't feel happy. I wish I were THRILLED and EXCITED to wake up each day. My life has not turned out the way I want it to be, and I feel impotent to change it. I'm merely existing - not living. I am so blah...

I normally write on here re: how I'm going to change my life. But tonight, I think I'll just cry. I'm so shocked and surprised and saddened by the grey state of my life.