Dear Scale...

 23.8.11

Dear Scale,

I never thought this day would come, but we have to break up.  I can't put up with your ups & downs, and you not showing me what and who I really am. 

You make me feel bad about myself when I'm up 1/2 lb {which is like drinking a glass of water}, then that spirals into a week-long pity party binge-fest of self-loathing and uncontrolled eating because I let YOU tell me that I'm not good enough. Even though I do everything right, you rarely live up to my expectations. You always let me down and feel bad about myself. I'm tired of feeling this way.

I understand that some people are motivated by you, but you just propel me into drama and fuel my own inclinations of self-doubt.  I can't stand living chained to you anymore.

The numbers you show me don't really tell me anything about my overall health. If my clothes are fitting better, if I can run 5K without stopping, if I can make it through yoga class without fainting, if I feel great and full of energy -- your number doesn't define my personal health. So I'm not going to obsessively use you any more to try to make myself fit into your number defining my healthfulness. 

Years ago, even when you showed me how low my number would go, I wasn't truly healthy because I was obsessed with your number and seeing how fast I could get it low. I starved myself, took diet pills and worked out for hours a day just to see a little number on the scale. But I wasn't inwardly healthy and I didn't really learn anything about life-long healthy living.  I was obsessed with your ups and downs, and my happiness would depend on the number you gave me. I'm sick of being your slave.

True health isn't about numbers. It's about feeling good and making consistent choices. Yes, I will falter but that's ok. I want to be committed to overall and long-term good health and not committed to my $30 scale from Wal-Mart. I'm better than that, and my health is worth more than that. And frankly, I don't want to pass my obsession of numbers and weight onto my children. So we are officially done.

That's it. It's over. Good bye, scale. I'm free now.

3 comments:

Megan August 23, 2011 at 3:41 PM  

You brave girl, I wish I could break up with mine :) My weight creeps up slowly and before you know it I would have to lose 100 pds....again! Good for you for knowing to take a break from what isn't good for you!!

bluenoselife.com August 23, 2011 at 7:32 PM  

Good luck and I hope the breakup goes well. I agree 100% with everything you said. Glad you were able to identify it wasn't a working relationship!

Mummy Maggie August 25, 2011 at 9:45 AM  

Thanks ladies! I appreciate the comments & support. It's amazing how liberating being scale-free is! I find that I'm more accountable to myself in terms of my food choices and exercise - happily - instead of weighing myself like a drone 5x a day, dreading what that the scale is going to say I'm up .2 lbs!

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