Macy's: Heart ? or Hate?

I used to like Macy's.  I liked it a whole lot.  Every time we go south of the border, I make a special effort to go to Macy's.  The sales are great.  The shoe selection is amazing.  It's a good store.

But, alas, I've recently had an issue with them.  By way of background, I have a Macy's credit card from 6 yrs ago.  Unfortunately, after our 1st move to the Burbs, I lost the card.  I'm still able to use the credit card as the cashiers just need my ID and some other personal info.

As you know, we went to NYC in May and I hit up Macy's when I was there.  No major damage, but the card was definitely put to use.  I have yet to receive a statement from them, so I called the customer service telephone number because I want to pay the bill.

This is {basically} how the conversation went after an exchange of pleasantries, an explanation of my lost card, and our recent move in the last year:

Macy's: What's your account number?

MM: I just told you that I don't have it.  I haven't received a statement and I lost my card.  Remember?

Macy's: Oh yes {I then provide personal info so they are able to locate my account}.  Is your address XXX-XXXX?

MM: No, I just told you I moved, so I guess I need to update this.  Even though I'm 100% sure I did this last year in a store.  My new address is XXX-XXXX.

Macy's:  Your balance is X.

MM: No problem, I can pay the full balance immediately.

Macy's:  Is it a US Checking account?

MM: No, of course not. I already explained I'm Canadian.

Macy's: We only accept US checking accounts.

MM:  I have a credit card in my hand this minute, and I want to pay my full balance straight away.

Macy's: You have to pay at least $XX because you're behind one payment.

MM:  Well, that's why I called! I never received a statement.  And I want to pay the FULL balance now.  I don't understand what the problem is.

Macy's:  You can pay with your credit card or cheque via mail {to this weird address in Des Moines, Iowa}.  You must pay within the next 2 days.

MM: Fine {*exasperated eye-roll*}.  I need my account number then so I can refer to it on my payment.

Macy's:  I can only give you the last 4 digits.

MM:  How is this helpful?!?!?!

Macy's:  I am not authorized to provide your account number.

MM:  How am I going to refer to my account to pay the bill -- you know, the same bill I want to immediately pay in full, but you won't let me -- without the account number?!

Macy's: Well, I can provide you the last 4 digits.

MM:  Would my payment be processed based on that little information?

Macy's: Probably not.

MM:  Okay.  So let me be clear.  Macy's wants me to pay my bill.  Yes? Despite the fact I want to pay in full today, this very minute, Macy's will NOT allow me to do so.  Further, to pay by credit card, I must mail my personal information to this sketchy Iowa address, WITHOUT my account information, because Macy's refuses to provide it to me.

Macy's:  Yes.  Is there anything else I can help you with?

MM:  I seriously don't think so.

THE END