Just a quick note that I've lost 30 lbs in the 3 weeks since I've given birth! Yah me! If only the next 30 lbs are going to be this easy.
I had a nasty fall yesterday so I'm too sore to exercise today. We did go to the mall and I did more walking there in 2 hrs than I have in the last month and a half. Soon I'll be able to exercise intentionally ;) I can't wait!
My confidence is a bit shaken and I'm a wee bit more humbled today. Since coming home from the hospital, I've brazenly left my walker at the front door because I thought I didn't need it. My physiotherapist told me yesterday that I didn't need my walker, nor would I even need a cane!
But today I had a tumble when I was in the washroom. I'll spare you the details, but my legs gave out and I fell on the floor and my full length mirror fell on top of me. I hit my head on the floor [but not too hard] and my legs are sore. As I was lying on the ground for about 10 mins, unable to move, I seriously felt for the first time ever that I needed "Life Alert" like those ads from the early 90s. I finally managed to scoot myself over to the bathtub and use it as leverage to hoist myself up. Thank goodness I've lost 27 lbs in the last few weeks!
This is all to say that I need re-envision how I'm going to be a mum until I'm 100% - if I'm ever 100%. I cannot - and will not - hold the baby when I'm on my own. This makes me a little sad, but I need to protect my little guy from me ;( We spent the afternoon feeding, napping, and cuddling. It was actually quite lovely. This is going to be our new normal from now on.
So you must be getting sick of me talking about babies and baby stuff for the last 10 months. Sometimes a girl needs a distraction. Fashion is the BEST distraction.
I stumbled upon this blog - www.seaofshoes.com. The blogger is a 16 yr old girl from Texas named Jane. Despite her age, she's witty and has the clothes of a Parisian fashionista. She's all DESIGNER. Her clothes are to die for. And she takes a photo of what she's wearing everyday complete with the details of her outfits.
If you too are looking for a distraction from the mundane, check out Jane's blog.
Here I am. Twenty days since giving birth to the cutest, sweetest bundle of joy. Prior to giving birth, I had a preconception of how quickly I'd be able to "get my life back" - aka: GET MY BODY BACK! But because of health problems beyond my control, my weight has taken to the backburner to my good health.
I have some obstacles:
1. I am still not steady on my legs. I am grateful I can now walk, but I need to re-envision my running schedule. Maybe not a marathon this year. Maybe not even a 1/2 marathon. Probably a 10K. I have to start slow.
2. I am a new mum. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm scared and learning so much every day. I'm tired. As time goes on, I'm sure I'll get into a routine & a rhythm that works for me & EZ.
3. My pregnancy was tough. I overate and gained a lot of weight. I was nauseated a lot and eating made me feel better. Also because of the nausea, I didn't feel like working out, let alone going for a walk.
When I was in the hospital, friends brought me magazines - delicious indulgences I don't normally read anymore - VOGUE & In Style. Perusing the magazines and discovering the amazing Spring clothes I LOVE, as well as the beautiful make-up options, really inspired me to get healthy so I can look stunning in the gorgeous clothes. I want to be a YUMMY MUMMY!
I'm loving these cool canvas wall quotes for kids from smART. I'm not into creepy characters & animals etc for kid's room decor, so these inspiring pieces of art are just perfect for a modern & thoughtful kidlet's room.
After another 4 day stint at the hospital, I'm happy to report that I'm home again. And I feel good! I've felt good for the last two days, which seems like a record for me.
I woke up last Friday feeling mucky [feverish, chills, exhausted, wicked pains etc]. I spent the day sleeping, trying to warm up, and finding the will to feed the babe. By the time Adair got home from work, he insisted we go to the doctor. Luckily my doctor was there and quickly diagnosed my problem, prescribed antibiotics and tylenol 3s [yah!]. I felt like there was light at the end of my sick tunnel.
How wrong I was.
A couple of hours later, my symptoms escalated exponentially. My fever skyrocketed up, I had "the shakes", and my eyes kept rolling back. I was FREEZING, but I am told my body was burning up. My family had to put cold compresses on me to try to cool down. My sister called Telehealth and they told us to go to the hospital asap.
Our wait time at Emergency was about 45 mins. and they gave me meds within minutes of arriving. The meds quickly kicked in and I started to feel a bit better. The emerg doctor admitted me and we spent the night in Emergency. Amazingly we were given a private room [with 4 walls!] and they even brought a 2nd stretcher in for Adair to sleep on. He was previously sleeping on a little chair [and didn't complain!]. Ezra stayed with us the whole time and he was a little prince.
I was transferred back to Maternity on Saturday afternoon, which is where I stayed until Tuesday. My room @ the hospital was newly renovated. It was very nice with more modern colour paint and hardwood floors. The only thing is that there was NO TV!!! But when you're sick, the last thing you want to do is watch tv and read. I mostly just slept and waited till Ezra's next feeding. The nursing staff @ the hospital is amazing. I've gotten to know so many of them throughout my 2 week stint in the maternity ward.
I was so THRILLED to be discharged yesterday. We were packed and ready to go within minutes. On the way home, I scheduled a pedi and a wax for later that afternoon. I NEEDED IT! I feel SO much better now. More like Maggie! My toes are the most LUXE violet colour - "Eiffel for You" from OPI.
I'm trying to regain some independence lost over the last 2 weeks. Since having Ezra, I've not had the opportunity to do anything for him except hold him while I'm lying in bed. Today I feel more confident and adventurous. Today I changed Ezra's diaper. TWICE! Yeah for me!
My physiotherapist came by today too. She taught me some more exercises to strengthen my legs. She also said I am walking much better. I even showed off my swagger WITHOUT the walker! O YA! She's coming back next week. I am stuck w/ the old-lady walker until then. I hope, however, to be walking without it by then.
Ezra is doing so very well. It's so amazing that he recognizes me as his mum. He could be fussy and crying, then I say his name and he calms down straight away. We have fun cuddling, feeding and napping together. He's a great baby. He sleeps through the night [well, for the most part] and likes to just chill when he's awake.
So as many of you know, my delivery and subsequent recovery wasn't so straightforward. I spent a total of 10 days in the hospital. Here's a [not-so] brief overview of my experience:
Jan 9th, 2009 - DAY 1
Labour: 9-11:30am
Read more...
I have the cutest dog with the sweetest disposition. Ginger is an easy-going, calm and happy dog. She likes to nap, eat carrots [see above], cuddle & lick, play with her toys, and dig. She's also very quiet. She doesn't bark too often, only to let you know she wants something, like a treat or a carrot. She's such a good dog and makes friends easily.
Which is why we're surprised with her strange behaviour over the last couple of days. She has become obsessed with going outside. She usually goes outside a few times a day, but it's become a more frequent occurrence. She likes to go out every hour or two to do her business [sorry if it's TMI]. This is strange. She doesn't usually like to go outside, especially in the snow. Sometimes we need to physically carry her outside.
Adair thinks he figured out the reason for her interest in the backyard. He tells me that she made a friend outside the other day, and now she wants to visit her friend as often as possible. Her friend is a bunny rabbit.
Living on a greenspace, we tend to get a lot of bunnies in the neighbourhood. When I run outside in the Spring, I usually can count 8-10 rabbits during my workout. But given the winter season, the cold and the snow, I'm surprised to still see some bunnies.
Ginger hasn't seen the bunny since the other night, but I think it's just precious that she remembers her new friend and wants to play - at ALL hours of the day and night!
So as January 6th draws to a close, it turns out I won't have the Epiphany Baby either. Will this baby ever come?
I'm starting to go a bit crazy. I'm staring at my belly all day long, just waiting for signs that I'm going into labour. "Is that twinge a contraction?" NOPE. I feel kicks and I think the baby WANTS to come out, but doesn't know how. Kicking my ribs isn't helping any, kidlet! He also likes to swish around a lot. Someone told me that I'm making it too comfortable for the little guy. So sometimes I put on my coin hip scarf and start shimmying - may be he'll be so annoyed he'll want to come out!
I don't want to go out because I'm worried my water will break in some very inconvenient place. The rational part of my brain tells me that this scenario is highly unlikely, but the crazy pregnant lady part of my brain doesn't want to risk any possible embarassment. So I'm hanging out at home. I sleep. I tidy. I don't "clean", other than turning the dishwasher on. I go on the elliptical, but then I get tired and nap again. I read. I research labour signs or natural induction methods on the internet. I also read blogs. So you can see that I am mostly just waiting for my new life to start...any time now!
I was supposed to be induced this morning. This was determined by my dr on Wednesday because of ongoing medical issues. I was told that I would be induced unless there wasn't any room @ the hospital.
So for the past few days, I've prepared in every way for being a mum - TODAY! I repacked my hospital bags, bought a Hooter Hider, spent a lot of time with family and friends, went to parties, went to the movies, watched numerous episodes of Law & Order, waxed my eyebrows, set up recordings for my fav tv shows next week, finished reading the Twilight saga [again!], rented Mad Men dvds for the hospital stay, and even was treated to a "last supper" with my family. I was ready to give birth today.
This morning I woke up @ 4:30am and felt a bit mucky [it was nerves]. I had a shower, shaved my legs and felt much better. Again - so ready to give birth today. I even put on make-up and did my hair. We called the hospital @ 6:30am and they told us to come in for 7:30. We finished getting ready, and took Gingy to dad's house, and made our way to the hospital.
We arrived on time and were escorted to our birthing suite. They had me change into the dreaded open-backed gown and immediately checked the baby's heart rate. All was well. The nurse took my blood pressure, then left us to wait for the doctor.
My dr arrived a short time later and re-took my blood pressure. He said he's never had it so low for me [this is a GOOD thing]. He left again, then returned to tell us that he was sending us home. He'd rather the babe come on his own this week, but out of an abundance of caution, scheduled another induction for next Friday.
I was pretty much devastated. I hadn't even contemplated the possibility that we'd be sent home for any other reason than "no room @ the inn." I understand, but that doesn't mean I'm less bummed out. I kind of moped around the house for the rest of the day, but finally got outside. Adair & I went for a walk at the harbour and I saw my friends from my dance studio. We also went to check out my nephew who was playing goal in his hockey game tonight. That was wonderful and lifted my spirits.
Tonight, we went to my parents house for dinner and to watch the hockey game. I kept thinking that I should be a mum by now, but I know that this bebe will come when he's good and ready. I'm just going to try not to overthink everything and just go with the flow. This labour is completely out of my control. I just have to surrender to it.
Contrary to badges on my blog, my baby is NOT 1 day old. In fact, my baby has not yet been born. I saw my OB yesterday, and because of some medical issues, I'm going to be induced on Saturday. It's a weird feeling, knowing that I'm going to be a mum as of Saturday [or maybe Sunday!].
Since I'm so focused on the safe arrival of the bebe, I haven't made a list of resolutions for 2009. I'm going to give myself a break this year and NOT stress about this. I don't really want to put all my energy into losing weight and missing out on my life. I'd like to focus on concepts of health and wealth in all aspects of my life: family, friends, career, spirituality, and personal health.
However, one major goal I've been mulling over is a return to long distance running. I ran 2 marathons in 2005 & 2006, and while I don't LOVE the marathon distance [I prefer the 1/2 marathon distance], I'd like to run another marathon. I'm thinking NYC or Chicago or maybe something else. That may be an unattainable goal this year, but I'd like to run a few 1/2 marathons.
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