Saying good-bye to our first home

Today is bittersweet. Our house is basically empty (thanks to Adair and his crew), and it reminds me of when we first moved in. We were SO excited to have our own HOME, with a backyard and 3 floors of living space.

We first started visiting our townhouse before it was even built - when it was just a "pile of dirt", as Adair would say. We saw our house being built from the foundation up. It was amazing.

When we moved in, we were THRILLED. There was that funny story about when we moved in (funny now, but at the time was tragic) when we didn't have carpet because the carpet layers were on strike. Being the kind of girl that I am, I wouldn't move into the house without carpet, so we hired some out-of-town carpet layers. They completed the work in one day, but it wasn't without drama. About a dozen of the striking carpet layers showed up at our house, intimidating our guys to stop working. Then 3 police cars showed up to break up the scuffle. I wasn't home at the time, but I can only imagine what our neighbours thought - first day we move in and the cops are at our house?!?!? At least, it was only a one-time event.

From door knobs to light fixtures, cabinets to mirrors, the whole house was suited to my taste, and all details carefully planned.

Now we're moved out, and soon we'll be in our big, new house. I'm sad to leave our first family home, but so excited to have more room, and even more upgrades!! Ezra is going to love his new room, a play room, and a nice patio!!! I'm going to love the gorgeous Brazilian hardwood throughout. Adair's going LOVE the double garage for his tools. But I'm most excited about decorating the new house!!! I also have some renovation project ideas up my sleeve, but let's not tell Adair just yet!!

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My LOVE of Faux Bois

Ooohhh...only Martha Stewart could make a simple rug so covet-worthy...

This rug would look SO lovely in our new family room

UPDATE: Just found a BLOG dedicated to all things FAUX BOIS!!

http://itsknotwood.blogspot.com

FABULOUS!!!!!!!!

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Motivation for my Middle-Bits ;)

New Bellydance Costume has been ordered!!!

Mine will be turquoise with silver accents!

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Weird new sensation

My "bad" leg feels cold & tingle-y today, where it used to feel numb & like "pins and needles."

Could this be a sign that I've turned a corner?

Wishing, hoping, praying...

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Knowing who I am...on the inside

Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror {lately}, I really don't recognize myself. One of the biggest issues is that I don't think I *really* know how chubby I am. It's only when I see myself on video or in photos that I see how I've let myself go.

But THIS isn't me. Not who I really am...on the inside.

The real me runs like wind...for hours.

The real me is always "in training."

The real me has a flat stomach.

The real me wears a size small.

The real me LOVES veggies & fruit.

The real me is fun & active.

The real me has strong, muscular arms and legs.

The real me is free & fearless.

I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON THE REAL ME!

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Just for you mom...just kidding :)

"Is that what I think it is around your neck?", said my mom after my Moroccan memories post the other day. YESSSSS!

I explained that the ancient art of Snake Charming has been in North Africa and the Middle East for centuries.

The Djemaa El Fna in Marrakech is filled with all sorts of colourful characters, including storytellers, acrobats, dancers, and snake charmers.

Here's more proof on my close encounter of the slithery kind.

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Small Victory...

I'm very pleased to report that it's been TWO WEEKS since I've eaten frosting. I am throwing out my 5 jars of frosting currently in my fridge because...
I'm over my frosting addiction.

And I'm moving in 3 days...therefore, highly unlikely to actually
bake cupcakes anytime soon.

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How to be Fabulous

For attractive lips,
Speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair,
Let a child run his fingers through it once a day.

For poise,
Walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored,
renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed.
Never throw out anybody.

Remember: if you ever need a helping hand,
you’ll find One at the end of your arm.
As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the other for helping others. ”

-- Sam Levenson

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Memories of Morocco (this is packing procrastination at its best)

The majestic Sahara. That's me & Big A walking up the dune!

Welcome to those visiting from Centsational Girl's Linky Party! Check out more of our Moroccan adventure here!

Basking in the beauty and solitude of the Sahara desert.

This was our food tent in the desert. Our delicious tajines were prepared for us by our Berber tour guides.

Learning how to put on my blue headwrap, traditional wear of the Berbers.

Yep. That's me. On a Camel. In the Sahara desert. Be jealous!

Of course, we look ridiculous, but we HAD to buy these scarves!

While roaming the streets of Marrakech, a woman "lured" us into her house {nothing untoward!} to show us how they make bread in the traditional ovens in their homes. VERY COOL.

No trip to Marrakech would be complete without a visit to the breathtakingly colourful Majorelle Gardens. That Blue is AMAZING. And boy, did I ever wear the right clothes that day! I matched!

Gorgeous entrance gates to the old city.

I must visit McDonalds in every country I travel to. It must be the loyalty I developed to them while working there as a teenager. Yes, I ate a McArab sandwich and it was awesome. Also, a McFlurry was necessary to cool off in the hot Moroccan weather.

The amazing mosque near the Djmaa el Fna Square.

This is the first restaurant we ate at when we arrived very late in the old city in Marrakech. It was DELICIOUS.

We also took a day trip to the seaside town of Essouira. The whole city is blue and white -- it's fascinating. So beautiful.

This is the ceiling of the riad we stayed at in Essouira. The detail is intricate and inspiring.

When driving outside of Marrakech, be sure to be on the lookout for camels!

I was totally enthralled with the snake charmers in the Djmaa el Fna Square. It's totally surreal. I felt like I was in Aladdin. Looking back, I seriously can't believe I put a snake around my neck.  CRAZY!

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Oh. My. Heck.

We are MOVING this Saturday!

We are so behind in our packing. It's so stressful. I'm actually afraid it's not going to get done.

PANIC!

I'm freaking out. It'll be okay...right???

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It's not about the scale...

As I stared at the bathroom scale this morning, I was tempted to commit a cardinal sin of my "lifestyle change."

I was going to weigh myself. AGAIN.

I had already sinned yesterday, was disappointed in the number that I saw because it didn't coincide with how I felt or all the cardio I've been doing. I started spiralling down yesterday, brooding about what I could've done wrong, over-analyzing what is WRONG with me.

How does this serve me? It just sets me up for failure. Again.

So I avoided the scale today. The number on the scale is not a measure of how good I feel or how successful I am.

But I wasn't always like that. When I lost weight 4 years ago, I was obsessed with it. I weighed myself around 15 times per day. I was so brutal with myself. I realized today that the reason I lost weight before was because it was an obsession, and I did not have any other major responsibilities in my life. Once I started working, weight loss took a back seat to my 100+ hr work weeks. I did not know how to balance both health and work because I had not changed my lifestyle, despite losing 70 lbs. Old habits slowly crept back because I hadn't really changed.

Now with an active 4 1/2 month old, a serious career, and other responsibilities, I see that I will lose weight because I've changed my whole lifestyle to support this decision, not because I'm merely obsessed with it.

So my tip of the day is to avoid the scale. Weigh yourself once a week, MAX. Don't beat yourself up if the number you see isn't what you expect. As I said in the beginning, this journey is NOT about being a slave to the scale.

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Reenvisioning Fullness

Ever since I got pregnant, I've been eating for two {sometimes three or four depending on how yummy the food is}. It's been like this for more than a year now. It's a BAD habit that needs to be broken ASAP.

I need to rethink "fullness" and remember what fullness ACTUALLY is.

Being full isn't feeling STUFFED.

Being full isn't feeling uncomfortable.

Being full is feeling satisfied - that justright feeling.

Being full is eating for one slim person.

I'm going to stop eating when I feel full. Not filled up, and ready to seep out the top of my pants.

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Etsy Finds...Peacock Lovelies

Stunning cuff

Elegant print

Vintage purse given a new life

Shiny Ring

Retro-style headband

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Starting this very moment:

I don't eat fast food.

I drink tons of water.

I am HEALTHY.

I AM SKINNY.

I choose better.

I support my healthy lifestyle.

I will be hungry and fabulous!

I will wear a size 8.

I will weigh 145 lbs.

I will program myself for SUCCESS!

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Remedy for the Blues

Buy it here. You know you want to.

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Looking for Luggage

I'm in desperate need of new luggage. Loving these options from Heys!

Did you know that Heys is a Canadian company? Gotta shop local these days!

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4 Things to LOVE About Dieting

YOU FEEL IN CONTROL

So often our food choices aren't driven by hunger, but by feelings -- boredom, anxiety, anger. When you focus on eating more healthfully, you learn to identify those times and come up with non-food ways to soothe your emotions. No more mindless munching.

YOU CAN INSPIRE OTHERS

Watching you navigate the weight-loss process -- and witnessing your success -- can prompt the people you care about to make healthy choices in their lives.

YOU SURPRISE YOURSELF

...Once you change ingrained eating habits, you come to realize you can do anything else you set your mind to.

YOU LOSE WEIGHT

'Nuff said.

(from a fitness magazine in 2005)

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Up late and brooding

I just saw some recent photos of me. And I'm appalled.

HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET LIKE THIS?

That doesn't matter anymore because I'm changing this moment. This second.

1. Journal everything.

2. No soda. Only water. Plenty of it. Like ridiculous amounts.

3. Lotsa veggies in EVERY meal. Mmmmm...yummy veggies.

4. Be a food snob. Healthy, natural, delicious foods. Nutritious & organic.

5. Walk, walk, walk like a maniac.

6. Shred daily.

7. Choose to be ACTIVE in ALL things.

8. ASK ALWAYS: Is THIS making me happy? Does THIS support my goals?

9. Get & READ Dr. Phil's book again.

10. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. I'M WORTH IT.

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Uh oh...

Well, more like, "Duh!"

I went to physio tonight, so proud of myself for my "run" last night. I proudly announced my perceived achievement to my physiotherapist, who then turned out to be none too pleased. She then made me feel my quad muscles so I could grasp the vast difference in muscle mass and tone between my good and "bad" leg. I tried to explain my need to do harder cardio {so I can go from Mummy Fat to Mummy Fit}, and that my "run" was more of a light jog {and I was only jogging in my mind - no one else would say I were jogging at all}, but she would have none of it.

She's right.

I had to promise her to not do any high-impact cardio until the end of June. I also had to promise to do my 5 strengthening exercises 100% everyday. Once my leg is strong, I'm going to be a better runner - and walker, and dancer, and mother, and better in every aspect of my life.

I will keep up with physio (2-3x/wk), multiple daily walks, and my strengthening exercises, and one day, just maybe, I'll be myself again. Like, duh?!

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Uh oh!

Well, more like, "Duh!"

I went to physio tonight, so proud of myself for my "run" last night. I proudly announced my perceived achievement to my physiotherapist, who then turned out to be none too pleased. She then made me feel my quad muscles so I could grasp the vast difference in muscle mass and tone between my good and "bad" leg. I tried to explain my need to do harder cardio {so I can go from Mummy Fat to Mummy Fit}, and that my "run" was more of a light jog {and I was only jogging in my mind - no one else would say I were jogging at all}, but she would have none of it.

She's right.

I had to promise her to not do any high-impact cardio until the end of June. I also had to promise to do my 5 strengthening exercises 100% everyday. Once my leg is strong, I'm going to be a better runner - and walker, and dancer, and mother, and better in every aspect of my life.

I will keep up with physio (2-3x/wk), multiple daily walks, and my strengthening exercises, and one day, just maybe, I'll be myself again.

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This week...so far...

I'm doing WELL in my effort to lose weight.

I've done at least 60 mins of cardio everyday.

Last night, in addition to my 1/2 hr walk + 10 min elliptical, I went for a "run" for a 1/2 hr! I'm the only person who knew I was running, but 3 months ago I couldn't walk, so "running" is just fine by me!

Adair got LOTS of delicious & healthy groceries last night, so we're set for a good long while!

I'll keep you posted as the week progresses...

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Thursday Afternoons

Every Thursday afternoon, Ezra and I head to a local senior's centre for Mother Goose. The new mums and babes sit in a circle, and the senior's sit around us for our hour long class of songs, rhymes and playtime.

I specifically chose to attend this Mother Goose program at the senior's home because I thought it would be important for Ezra to interact with both babies and elderly people. It's lovely to see the seniors AND the babies light up when they see one another.

Moreover, on a personal note, seeing all the walkers in the room remind me that only 3 months ago I needed a walker to get around.

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Why I want to lose....

Typing with a 4 1/2 month old attached to me is a challenge, but I've been meaning to write this for the past few days.

I want to be free from my obsession with my weight.

I want to NOT think about losing weight anymore.

I want to be comfortable with myself (in clothes, in pictures, etc.). I don't want to be always thinking, "Does this make me look fat?" or "Is there any other fatties around that can make me look thinner?"

I want to RUN again - like, not around the block, but seriously train for long-distance running. I don't want to keep relying on my past glories.

I want inspire myself and others.

I want to be more active with my kids.

I want muscles!

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New Look Options

Since my hair has been falling out like mad, I'm getting more tempted to cut it short. I've been trying to grow it out for awhile, but I cut it a bit late in my pregnancy.

It's cute now (kinda like Lady Gaga when I actually DO it, but that rarely happens with a 4 month old). Not only is my hair falling out, but little Ezra loves to grab it too! Also, a shorter 'do would be so much easier for me to maintain.

Here are some options for my short hair:

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End of day update

I had a GREAT day. I had about 60 mins of cardio today (incl 2 walks and 10 mins on the elliptical). I ate really well today (that means healthy and yummy!). We kept active all day, but I didn't over-work because that would make me too tired and un-motivated for tomorrow.

Also - I DID NOT eat frosting from the can today, despite 4 flavours on the go in my fridge. In my defence, they are leftovers from baking (mis)adventures. I think that itself is a victory!

Tomorrow, I have the cleaning lady coming, plus physio, waxing, tanning, leaving lots of time for walking and enjoying the warmer weather.

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More Ezra pics

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Ingenius Idea

Today I found my food & exercise journal from May-Oct 2005. Yes, that's when I was losing weight and when I thought that 140 lbs was fat. HA! What I would GIVE to be 140 lbs now. I'd be sooooooooooo grateful.

In any case, I have this fab lil' idea to "re-jump start" the MummyFit Challenge. Why don't I eat the same foods I did back then? I imagine that if I ate those same, or at least similar foods, I would lose weight.

Reading through the journal was both inspiring and a bit sad. I can't believe how hard I was on myself. If I ate a Cadbury thin chocolate bar, I'd put a sad face and call myself fat. I'm definitely going to challenge myself, but balance it with a bit more gentleness. My goal this time around is 100% honesty & 100% positivity. There's no sense in being so hard on myself. I just set myself up for self-loathing and chubbiness. No more.

I am going to be positive and gentle with myself. I am worth the effort it takes to achieve weight loss.

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My Loser Inspirations

I absolutely loved this season of the Biggest Loser. These women are phenomenal. Their weight loss over the last 9 months is AMAZING. They started out barely able to go 5 mins on the treadmill, to fitness gurus able to run marathons! I was glued to the season finale on Tuesday night to see who won.

Helen (the woman in the pink) was the winner - she lost 140lbs! Tara (green) was my favourite all season. She was completely committed from the get go, and never wavered. She consistently lost big numbers every week, and ended up losing an astonishing 157lbs.

My girl Kristen (in the purple) was awesome too. She's got a great, perky personality and a positive attitude. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE her new haircut. So cute! I keep thinking I want my sassy short hair back, but I'm reluctant because I still have my baby weight.

What do you think? Should I cut my hair??? Maybe I'll just lose weight...

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