Waiting for my Diaper Bag

I'm a very particular girl. When it comes to choosing a diaper bag, I am particularly...well, particular. I didn't want some cheap diaper bag that would cause me to be ridiculed by posh mums with fancier bags for their babes. Ok...that's not really true. I just didn't want a cheap diaper bag.

I have been looking for a diaper bag since September of last year. I can't find one I like under $200. But doesn't it seem outrageous spending $200+ on a DIAPER BAG? I've tried Target, Babies R US, and other fancy baby shoppes, and I can't find anything I remotely like with the exception of the bag above. I've been waiting for this bag since November. It's on order from a very nice baby store. It's a Petunia Pickle Bottom and it's GLAZED {like when EZ pees on it, you can easily wipe it off}. Yes it costs $200. It was supposed to be here in January. It's now mid-February and I haven't heard anything about it. I probably would have called the store earlier, but I was in the hospital, then I haven't really felt like going out.

This week, however, I'm planning on going to some mum & tot groups. Since I don't have this bag, I've been using those $1 eco-friendly bags. Not very chic. Not like a hip and cool mum would have. I need this fancy diaper bag! SOON! I'll call them tomorrow, when it's not a holiday. Until then, I will be relegated to the crappy dollar bag. I hope other moms won't make fun of me! Just kidding!

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Happy Presidents Day

This image is made entirely of cupcakes at the Smithsonian in DC last week [am I becoming obsessed with sweet treats? Aren't I supposed to be on WW?? I guess I'm my mother's daughter!]. Click here for the story.

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Valentine's Day Family Photos

We had these photos done yesterday by the amazing Megan Ward. Thanks so much Megan.

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HUNGER

I am so so hungry today...can't stop eating....

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Failing to PLAN is Planning to fail

So today was kind of a bust for my new WW regime. I think the issue is that I'm not planning my meals and schedule in advance. I've learned a lot this week.

I will eat wholesome, healthy foods regularly. To accomplish this, I need to actually THINK about what I'm going to eat and when I'm going to eat it.

Also, I will stay on points ["OP"] and record everything I eat online.

I will also be more active. Well, as active as I am able to be.

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Physio Update

I had my last session with my in-home physiotherapist today. She's come once a week since I got home from the hospital. She's great. Very encouraging.

She says I'm improving so well, so fast - even when I complain how S-L-O-W my recovery is.

Since it was our last session today, I asked her to level with me. I asked her, from her experience, how long will it likely take until I'm 100% again. I was hoping she would say a couple of weeks.

NOPE. She said it would likely be 2-3 MONTHS!

What?!?! Seriously?!?! 2-3 months left of this?!?!

Despite being so hopeful for a quick recovery, I expected this. A compressed nerve simply takes a long time to heal. I just have to get used to the idea and embrace it.

I have to make this weakness a STRENGTH.

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NOT Red Velvet Cupcakes...more like...

Ugly Pink Pukey Cupcakes... Don't you agree?

Feeling better and a bit more ambitious today, I set out to conquer the kitchen. I've been watching a lot of FoodTV which has been foolishly boosting my confidence in the kitchen. I also follow a few baking blogs [incl. Smitten Kitchen and Bakerella], which also bamboozle me into thinking I can bake beautifully like them. HA!

So today, when Stina & Hannah came to visit Ezra, I took the time to carefully lay out the ingredients for red velvet cake. Originally I was going to make red velvet cake truffles, but decided to start out small...just a cake! or maybe cupcakes!!!

When EZ was having a wee nap, my baking began. I methodically followed the instructions [with very little improvisation] and my cake batter was taking shape.

I wish I would have taken photos to prove to you how well it all LOOKED before!

The batter's colour was..."raspberry" - definitely NOT RED. I added more food colouring, but then got scared because what if I added too much food colouring then made the cupcakes toxic? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW - I DON'T BAKE!!!

So I left the batter pink. Maybe it would turn RED in the oven's heat???

The answer is NO. They are pink. And they don't taste very good. But generally I'm not a good judge of cake's tastiness because I don't even really like cake. I had to add a THICK layer of cream cheese icing to make it more appetizing for me.

UPDATE: I just ate another mini cupcake and have had a change of heart. I think they ARE quite yummy. My mum says I desperately need a lesson in how to frost cupcakes. Better late than never - I am almost 30 now!

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Hug Me NOT Huge Me

Usually Valentine's Day means copious amounts of chocolate and other assorted goodies for me. But NOT this year. As I mentioned yesterday, I joined Weight Watchers [now will be referred to as "WW"]. I decided to join WW online as I know I'd make excuses for not attending meetings etc. I'm doing well so far. Counting points is so much easier than calories, that's for sure. Wish me willpower!!!

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Easy Dessert "Recipe" - if you can even call it that

Grainshop's High Fibre Crisp cereal

+

Fat free yogurt
+

Raspberries

=

AMAZING DELICIOUS WW-FRIENDLY DESSERT

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3 1/2 years ago vs NOW

This was my skinniest day EVER.

The dress is a size SMALL from Le Chateau.

It was law school graduation in the summer of 2005.

For the 9 months preceding this photo, I lost almost 65 lbs by working out like a maniac and eating like a rabbit.

I was exercising 90 mins/day minimum + pilates + strength training and eating very few calories. I was running 10K/day minimum.

I'd like to look like this again.

I have a lot of weight to lose.

To help me in this journey, I joined WW online.

Once I'm "on my feet" again, I'll be training for a 10K too with Canada Get Fit.
I heart that running training program.

In the meantime, I am going to register for some new mum exercise classes and, of course, I'll be going for walks with EZ - once the weather improves a bit more.

I am determined to regain my level of fitness and health.

I can and will do this.

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EZ's one month old! Okay, so this post is late!

These pics were taken on Feb 9th, when EZ was officially one month old. To celebrate, Daddy surprised us with a chocolate cake [guess he didn't get the memo that I'm now doing WW!] and then we went to the movies! A local theatre is now doing Mommy & Me movie "date nights" with dads, so we saw Slumdog Millionaire...again. Love that movie!

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New purchases by Mummy Recessionista - ummm...that's me...

This past weekend I went on a bit of a shopping spree. It started on Thursday with my shoe purchases. I neglected to mention that I also bought a load of baby items for EZ on Thursday too. Some things are just too cute to pass up. Like these cute Robeez shoes...



Then Friday night, we went shopping for new bedding for us! We went to HomeSense. I didn't like any bedding, but we found this amazing mini club chair for our Bebe EZ! We couldn't resist the bright orange colour to match his bedroom! And the price was right - $40 incl taxes.


Then on Saturday, I went clothes shopping with my mum. For NON-MATERNITY clothes. I had no idea what size I am [except only that I'm not my "ideal size"]. I took forever to find some items, but I scored some cute "Maggie" clothes on sale! Yes...I said "sale". As you may know, I don't usually shop sales. I don't like to be a scavenger. But since becoming a mum I've discovered that the cliche is true - your priorities change.

But that doesn't mean I'm not going to treat myself every once in awhile. Just like this!!!

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I'm feeling miserable and that needs to change

My nerve injury is driving me crazy. I'm a girl-on-the-go so I cannot STAND that I CANNOT STAND! Well, I know I can sorta stand, I just can't walk steady or exercise or dance. No cardio = no fat loss. And I need to LOSE WEIGHT! I can't live this way and there's nothing I can do about it. I cannot control my compressed nerve.

I need to DO SOMETHING about my weight. I'm going to join WW I think. It's the most sensible weight loss program out there. I need to do something structured but not restrictive. I don't know whether to go to the meetings or to do it online. It's hard too because I'm not being supported at home for my weight loss journey. I have to do this on my own - so maybe I should go to the meetings. I'm just worried that it may be easy to miss meetings w/ EZ as an excuse. I don't want to make anymore excuses.

I hope the weather will stay warm this week so I can go for walks with EZ. I hope that will make me feel better too. I just gotta keep ACTIVE and POSITIVE.

Another thing that will help me feel better about myself is taking care of myself - doing hair & makeup, wearing nice clothes, always having my nails done etc. These things always inspire me to stay positive and have a positive body image.

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My new mantra for 2009

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For those Twilight Fanpires - this V-day card's for you!

I think this Valentine's Day card is sooooooo fab - all my favourite leading men, including Edward from the Twilight Saga. Swoon - Go Team Edward!!!

This card can be bought here at Marta's Blog - and they're half-off this weekend!!! Get yours today!

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4 weeks old & Things that I LOVE

It's been 4 weeks since little EZ was born. I still have a lot of baby weight to lose [yes, I'm still wearing maternity pants] and my femoral nerve hasn't yet healed completely, but I have a lot of things to be grateful for:

• Being able to sleep on my back, side, stomach - any way I want!
• Not having to go to the washroom every hour - on the hour!
• Seeing my feet again
• Being able to breathe normally
• Having more energy
• Putting on shoes without losing my breath
  
• Being able to walk - 4 weeks ago I didn't have enough strength to stand on my own
• Going back to bellydancing!
  
• Holding my precious little EZ and spending hours admiring his face and expressions
  

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"I [almost] fell in Nine West"

I wanted to treat myself to something special today. For those of you who know me well, know that I am wildly selfish ;) So I bundled up Baby EZ in this -20 degree cold, picked up my dad, and went to the mall to go shoe shopping! I bought 2 pairs of flats @ Ready 2 Wear, then trotted off Nine West for a gorgeous pair of new pumps from the new Spring collection.

I chose a couple pairs of fierce non-mummy shoes [see above] and put them on. So lovely on my tiny feet - the only thing that's "tiny" on me lately. Once I had these sassy sandals on, I decided they needed to be taken for a stroll around the store and to be admired in a full length mirror.

So I hauled myself up and started to "walk" in the 4 inch heels, and...WHOOPS! My bad leg gave way - I quickly grabbed on to the jewelry stand for balance. So embarassing. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw from SATC when she fell in Dior. Of course I cannot compare Nine West @ Oakville Place to Christian Dior in Paris, but the embarassment is the same I can assure you. I left Nine West shoe-less and defeated.

Later this afternoon, my physiotherapist came over for our session. I told her about my near-fall and how frustrated I am with my legs. She told me that I am doing remarkably well, and that I'm healing faster than anyone she's seen in awhile. She sees me only once a week, so she may be a better judge of how well I'm doing. She also approved my elliptical training & my bellydancing [YAY!], so I'm going dancing tonight! I hope I don't fall!!!

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Cake Wrecks

I happened upon this blog "CAKE WRECKS" awhile back and I can't get enough. I'm no baker, but I can't believe the hotmessiness of some of these cakes! ENJOY!!!

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Bringing Bellydance Back!

Tonight I went to a bellydance class. It's been MONTHS since my last class. I taught bellydance all last term, but I never had enough energy to actually take a class.

It was AMAZING to be back. I felt like my old self. I wore cute workout clothes, put on pretty makeup, and even wore jewelry.

The class itself was great. I felt a bit frustrated because my legs aren't close to being 100% and I almost fell a few times. It's like my body won't do what my brain tells it to do. I hope this will change SOON! In the meantime, I've decided to go to as many classes as possible to try to rebuild my muscle memory. I am in love with bellydance. Once EZ is old enough we're going to do Baby Bellydance - it's a class for new moms with their infants in a carrier. I can't wait to take this class. Jo actually wants me to teach it eventually ;) I hope to be 100% soon. I want to dance.

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25 Random Things about Me

This is floating around on Facebook, so I thought I'd share mine with you.

1. I have run 2 marathons, one 1/2 marathon, and 1 10K
2. I have been to 4 of 7 continents - I love to travel
3. I translated the Law Code of Hammurabi in Akkadian in my last year of university
4. I've been on an archaeological dig in Israel
5. I love that my husband reads the blog "Feminist Mormon Housewives" daily
6. I got an A+ in Advanced Biblical Hebrew - I beat out kids that went to Hebrew day school
7. I love bellydancing. I teach bellydance & I perform regularly - my stage name is Zaynah
8. I spend hours everyday just staring at my baby Ezra - he's just adorable & makes the cutest faces.
9. I slept in a camel hair tent in the Sahara desert & I rode on a camel
10. I am addicted to celebrity gossip blogs - perezhilton.com is my fav
11. I've spent 14 of the last 23 days in the hospital
12. I have a crazed addiction to paper, scrapbooking tools, and fonts
13. I love love love my job!!!!
14. I am drawn to cooking shows on tv, but I can hardly boil water
15. Before mat leave I would NEVER watch court shows or Law & Order, but now I can't get enough. Do you know some Law & Order type show is one at least 5x a day?
16. I moved 7 times growing up.
17. I have seen Phantom of the Opera more than 20 times.
18. I've been to Tuktoyuktuk, NWT. Actually I spent 3 months during the winter in Inuvik, NWT - 200km north of the Arctic circle
19. I'm new at blogging, but I totally love it. I actually prefer to read other people's blogs. It gives me something to aspire to.
20. I have continuously kept a journal since I was 14.
21. I am madly in love with my husband. I love that we were friends for 3 years before we started dating.
22. My dad is English. As in born and raised in England. He moved here in 1964. He looked like a Beatle.
23. I like to go on message boards for baby names and critique them.
24. I want to learn French, Spanish, and Arabic.
25. I love being a mum and housewife ;)

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30 lbs in 3 weeks!

Just a quick note that I've lost 30 lbs in the 3 weeks since I've given birth! Yah me! If only the next 30 lbs are going to be this easy.

I had a nasty fall yesterday so I'm too sore to exercise today. We did go to the mall and I did more walking there in 2 hrs than I have in the last month and a half. Soon I'll be able to exercise intentionally ;) I can't wait!

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"I've fallen and I can't get up!"

My confidence is a bit shaken and I'm a wee bit more humbled today. Since coming home from the hospital, I've brazenly left my walker at the front door because I thought I didn't need it. My physiotherapist told me yesterday that I didn't need my walker, nor would I even need a cane!

But today I had a tumble when I was in the washroom. I'll spare you the details, but my legs gave out and I fell on the floor and my full length mirror fell on top of me. I hit my head on the floor [but not too hard] and my legs are sore. As I was lying on the ground for about 10 mins, unable to move, I seriously felt for the first time ever that I needed "Life Alert" like those ads from the early 90s. I finally managed to scoot myself over to the bathtub and use it as leverage to hoist myself up. Thank goodness I've lost 27 lbs in the last few weeks!

This is all to say that I need re-envision how I'm going to be a mum until I'm 100% - if I'm ever 100%. I cannot - and will not - hold the baby when I'm on my own. This makes me a little sad, but I need to protect my little guy from me ;( We spent the afternoon feeding, napping, and cuddling. It was actually quite lovely. This is going to be our new normal from now on.

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My new favourite Blog - a non-mommy Blog!

So you must be getting sick of me talking about babies and baby stuff for the last 10 months. Sometimes a girl needs a distraction. Fashion is the BEST distraction.

I stumbled upon this blog - www.seaofshoes.com. The blogger is a 16 yr old girl from Texas named Jane. Despite her age, she's witty and has the clothes of a Parisian fashionista. She's all DESIGNER. Her clothes are to die for. And she takes a photo of what she's wearing everyday complete with the details of her outfits.

If you too are looking for a distraction from the mundane, check out Jane's blog.

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My Love Affair with Lulu

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20 days post-partum

Here I am. Twenty days since giving birth to the cutest, sweetest bundle of joy. Prior to giving birth, I had a preconception of how quickly I'd be able to "get my life back" - aka: GET MY BODY BACK! But because of health problems beyond my control, my weight has taken to the backburner to my good health.

I have some obstacles:

1. I am still not steady on my legs. I am grateful I can now walk, but I need to re-envision my running schedule. Maybe not a marathon this year. Maybe not even a 1/2 marathon. Probably a 10K. I have to start slow.

2. I am a new mum. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm scared and learning so much every day. I'm tired. As time goes on, I'm sure I'll get into a routine & a rhythm that works for me & EZ.

3. My pregnancy was tough. I overate and gained a lot of weight. I was nauseated a lot and eating made me feel better. Also because of the nausea, I didn't feel like working out, let alone going for a walk.

I am WILDLY MOTIVATED to CHANGE!!!!

When I was in the hospital, friends brought me magazines - delicious indulgences I don't normally read anymore - VOGUE & In Style. Perusing the magazines and discovering the amazing Spring clothes I LOVE, as well as the beautiful make-up options, really inspired me to get healthy so I can look stunning in the gorgeous clothes. I want to be a YUMMY MUMMY!

My TO-DO LIST for my health for this week:

• Join Weight Watchers
• Drink 4L/water daily
  
• Wear athletic clothing Check
  
• 20 mins of cardio daily
• Blog re: my successes
• Find scale Check
  
• Set goals - short term & long term
• Get a manicure
  

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Smart Kids

I'm loving these cool canvas wall quotes for kids from smART. I'm not into creepy characters & animals etc for kid's room decor, so these inspiring pieces of art are just perfect for a modern & thoughtful kidlet's room.

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Happy to be Home...Again

After another 4 day stint at the hospital, I'm happy to report that I'm home again. And I feel good! I've felt good for the last two days, which seems like a record for me.

I woke up last Friday feeling mucky [feverish, chills, exhausted, wicked pains etc]. I spent the day sleeping, trying to warm up, and finding the will to feed the babe. By the time Adair got home from work, he insisted we go to the doctor. Luckily my doctor was there and quickly diagnosed my problem, prescribed antibiotics and tylenol 3s [yah!]. I felt like there was light at the end of my sick tunnel.

How wrong I was.

A couple of hours later, my symptoms escalated exponentially. My fever skyrocketed up, I had "the shakes", and my eyes kept rolling back. I was FREEZING, but I am told my body was burning up. My family had to put cold compresses on me to try to cool down. My sister called Telehealth and they told us to go to the hospital asap.

Our wait time at Emergency was about 45 mins. and they gave me meds within minutes of arriving. The meds quickly kicked in and I started to feel a bit better. The emerg doctor admitted me and we spent the night in Emergency. Amazingly we were given a private room [with 4 walls!] and they even brought a 2nd stretcher in for Adair to sleep on. He was previously sleeping on a little chair [and didn't complain!]. Ezra stayed with us the whole time and he was a little prince.

I was transferred back to Maternity on Saturday afternoon, which is where I stayed until Tuesday. My room @ the hospital was newly renovated. It was very nice with more modern colour paint and hardwood floors. The only thing is that there was NO TV!!! But when you're sick, the last thing you want to do is watch tv and read. I mostly just slept and waited till Ezra's next feeding. The nursing staff @ the hospital is amazing. I've gotten to know so many of them throughout my 2 week stint in the maternity ward.

I was so THRILLED to be discharged yesterday. We were packed and ready to go within minutes. On the way home, I scheduled a pedi and a wax for later that afternoon. I NEEDED IT! I feel SO much better now. More like Maggie! My toes are the most LUXE violet colour - "Eiffel for You" from OPI.

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A few snapshots of Bebe Ezra

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A day of firsts!

I'm trying to regain some independence lost over the last 2 weeks. Since having Ezra, I've not had the opportunity to do anything for him except hold him while I'm lying in bed. Today I feel more confident and adventurous. Today I changed Ezra's diaper. TWICE! Yeah for me!

My physiotherapist came by today too. She taught me some more exercises to strengthen my legs. She also said I am walking much better. I even showed off my swagger WITHOUT the walker! O YA! She's coming back next week. I am stuck w/ the old-lady walker until then. I hope, however, to be walking without it by then.

Ezra is doing so very well. It's so amazing that he recognizes me as his mum. He could be fussy and crying, then I say his name and he calms down straight away. We have fun cuddling, feeding and napping together. He's a great baby. He sleeps through the night [well, for the most part] and likes to just chill when he's awake.

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L & D & a Long Recovery

So as many of you know, my delivery and subsequent recovery wasn't so straightforward. I spent a total of 10 days in the hospital. Here's a [not-so] brief overview of my experience:

Jan 9th, 2009 - DAY 1

Labour: 9-11:30am

• Relatively easy, was expecting much more pain
• Watched 1 1/2 episodes of "Mad Men" - LOVE that show!
• Was very clear w/ OB & nurse that I wanted an epidural as soon as possible to minimize pain

Epidural: 11:30-12:15pm

• The first epidural didn't go in right [eeek!], so the anesthetist re-did the epidural straight away

YEAH DRUGS! 12:15-4:30pm

• This part was great. My mom came. We all had naps. Just waiting for the fun to begin

Epidural Wears Off: 4:30-7pm

• Around 4:30, I started to feel some pain. I thought I could handle it, so I didn't say anything right away - I didn't want to be a wimp
• By 5pm I was in a "state" - the pain was overwhelming. The anesthetist was paged to come back to "top me up". We were told it would be 15 mins, which I learned is "doctorspeak" for 1hr 20 mins.
• Once he topped me up it felt better, but the pain didn't subside. We had to recall him to quadruple my dose.
  
• I was so weak from the pain that I nearly didn't recover
• My sister joined us
  

Beginning to Push: 7-8pm

• Started to push. Too early. OB says to wait a 1/2 hr. Still in pain...oi
• My day nurse's shift is over - I have a new nurse who is much tougher than my day nurse

Pushing Again: 8-9:51pm

• I don't have a distinct recollection of this time period - exhausted, still in pain
  
• I remember begging for a c-section, but my family kept telling me I would recover quicker if I deliver naturally
• Sister gave me ice chips and also gave me a Bam-Bam ponytail to keep me cool - I didn't know this until after - I looked quite stupid ;)
  
• Adair, mom & sister are amazingly supportive
• One final push and feel such sweet relief - babe is whisked away
  

After the babe is born: 9:51-2am

• Serious blood loss - talk of blood transfusion - luckily not necessary
• I hold baby, Adair takes unflattering photos of me with the babe & my Bam-Bam hair; all my lovely makeup faded away at this point
  
• Family takes so many pics and visits w/ granddad who is waiting patiently for good news
• Tried to transfer me to another bed, but cannot walk - we all chalk it up to exhaustion
• Family leaves, Adair & I are alone with the babe in a room until morning

DAY 2

• Family & friends visit - beautiful flowers and cute clothes!
  
• Still cannot walk - doctors cannot explain - need MRI. MRI @ my hospital broken so need to be transported by ambulance to another hospital
• Wait for 6 hrs for ambulance. Left @ 11pm in a wicked snow storm - LONG DRIVE!
• MRI complete
  

DAY 3-9

• Need another MRI and an EMG. Doctors finally realize that I probably pinched my femoral nerve while pushing
• Also have wicked anemia bc of blood loss during delivery - so I'm very weak & tired
  
• Finally gain strength to hobble around on my walker - yeah! freedom to go to the bathroom on my own
• Love physio - determined to walk again FAST!
  
• My amazing family takes shifts taking care of me & Ezra. I'm astounded by their patience and thoughtfulness.

DAY 10

• I had enough. I need to go home. I need to be in my own bed and start to try to care for my babe.
• I need a walker to be mobile. I also need a seat and a handrail in the shower. Yes, I'm 29 not 92.
  

DAY 11

• Mom stays w/ me - we watch history being made - OBAMA!
• Physio does home visit - says I'll be off the walker soon - then a cane!
• Mom leaves for her home. Adair's mom arrives.
  

So that's pretty much the update. It will still be a long recovery yet. But I'm happy it will be weeks as opposed to months. The best part is Little Ezra is a GREAT baby, who loves to sleep & eat. He is truly "Bebe EZ".

Here are some snapshots from the hospital:

My adorable niece & nephew with their new cousin Ezra!

A sample of the delicious food - all beige, all the time ;)

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